Geek Stuff

The 10 apps we wish we’d invented

January 2018

Some declare genius, while others lose faith in humanity. In any case, we had a lot of fun with our smartphones when we created this article. Here’s a short overview of the most recent apps that are likely to make you go WTF?

Melon Meter

You’re in fetal position in the fruit and veggie aisle, paralyzed by the fear of a tasteless melon or a powdery watermelon? No need to panic – just give it a tap and the app analyzes the noise it makes to tell you if this is the fruit of your dreams.

Bubble Wrap

In the competition for apps where “I could do that IRL (In Real Life in case you suck at TLAs – three letter acronyms), but … meh!” the Bubble Wrap app wins the grand prize. This app is about no more and no less than popping bubble wrap on your smartphone’s screen.

The app also offers a game mode for thrill seekers.

Hold On

Some people will say that it’s a good personal development tool, while others will see the app, more than any other on the App Store or Android, that you can definitely live without. Hold On challenges you to keep your finger pressed against your screen for as long as possible. Have fun!


Yo is an app that was produced on a relaxed November evening with a bunch of unemployed buddies. Its one and only purpose in life is to send “yos.” It’s a distant relative of “pokes”, “wizzes” and other “wassuuuuuuups.” In other words, the product of a wonderful family tradition.


Moobox is the useless gift you bring back from the bunny hills the first time you go skiing. It doesn’t actually have any purpose apart from embarrassing the recipient of the gift. Relive the wonderful sense of awkwardness with the app that reproduces the noise of a cow on ecstasy and a constipated goat.

ThrowMe App

Throw your iPhone into the air, take an aerial photo… and pray that you catch it before it all comes crashing down.

An app you should avoid when you’re at a party, at a concert, with your children… in fact you should avoid it anywhere, except possibly on top of a triple layer mattress.

Hang Time

The same principle… except it doesn’t take any photos! The goal is simply to throw your smartphone as high as possible. You might like to think of it as training wheels for the previous app, but we wouldn’t bet much on the survival rate for phones with this app on.


This app transforms your smartphone into a virtual glass of beer that you can “down” literally. Completely pointless, you said? Except that, at the time of writing, it’s already been downloaded 90 million times.

Celebrity height

In the universe of pointless apps, there are some that were created in 140 seconds on a post-it while heating ramen in the microwave and apps that actually required some effort. Celebrity height belongs to the second category, because it’s (surprise) a directory of celebrities and how tall they are.

Ilick it

If, after all these activities, your smartphone is still working, you can go the extra mile and use this app to collect the widest variety of germs in the neighborhood. The aim of the game is simply to lick your phone to virtually clear a displayed virtual plate.

Note to future app users: antibacterial gel stings the tongue.


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